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What can I say in my wedding vows?

Are you considering drafting your wedding vows? It's a huge task to sit down and try to sum up everything: your love, dreams, and promises to your sweetheart in a few minutes. As exhausting as it can be, it is worth it: It's an opportunity to convey your story, show guests what makes your relationship tick, and share meaningful, beautiful words with the person you love.

It's also intimate—you're opening your heart to the love of your life in front of your family and closest friends. We're here to help if you're up for the challenge. Everything you need to know about writing your wedding vows, from examples and advice to sources of inspiration, is right here.

Wedding vows are pledges made by a couple to one another at their wedding ceremony. Religious rituals frequently influence wedding vows. However, they are not legally necessary for a marriage service and are not included in all religious or traditional marriage ceremonies.

Wedding vows are a regular component in modern Western wedding ceremonies and are widely regarded as the most beautiful, private, and uplifting part of the event. Wedding vows, spoken aloud from one partner to the other, define the couple's love and state their intentions for how they plan to think, feel, and act towards each other during their marriage in front of a room full of witnesses.

How Do You Choose Your Wedding Vows?

Vows for marriage can be found in a wide range of religious and denominational variations. When it comes to writing their wedding vows, couples should keep in mind these three degrees of authorship:

They are using the conventional wedding vows, as written, according to their religious tradition (or whichever set of traditional vows speaks to them).

Use traditional vows, but personalise them by adding your own words or modifying them.

They are writing their own unique, bespoke vows for their wedding ceremony.

When it comes to wedding vows, some couples are limited to a specific sort of ceremony. The traditional marriage vows of your chosen religion may be necessary if you're getting married to a priest, pastor, rabbi, or other religious authority. It's up to you whether you want a religious or civil ceremony, which can be performed by an ordained minister or a justice of the peace.

Make sure to ask your officiant what kind of vows are acceptable in the place of worship where you'll be getting married before making a final decision. He or she may be open to working with you to find a solution that meets your needs when it comes to wedding vows.

You and your spouse should sit down and discuss the kinds of vows you're most comfortable with before choosing your wedding vows. Have a look at the examples below, and then decide if you want to utilise (or modify) traditional vows or write your own from scratch. It's a good idea to draw out a version of the vows you want to use and discuss it with your officiant.

If you're interested in learning how to write your wedding vows, check out our guide on the subject.

Wedding couple

Writing Your Wedding Vows.

It is true that drafting your vows might be an intimidating task. A case of writer's block is nothing to be alarmed about, as it is rather common. And, certainly, a plethora of advice and guidance is available to assist you in formulating the ideal wedding vows for your special day.

Our Top 10 Tips When Writing Your Wedding Vows:

Decide On Tone And Length.

To ensure that the vows reflect your individuality, it is important that you write them yourself. Remember that this is a celebration of who you are as a pair, so keep this in mind when writing your vows! You and your partner can choose from a variety of approaches, including comedic, romantic, and religious. A basic length for your vows (we recommend one to two minutes apiece) should also be agreed upon so that your guests have a consistent experience.

Get Inspired. 

What is the best method to get started on your vows? For ideas and inspiration, go to other people's vows that you admire. You're free to do so as long as you don't copy and paste entire sentences from your favourite poetry, phrases, religious texts, or vows you have read or heard that resonate. As you notice patterns in the vows you're drawn to, you'll be better able to personalise your own. Here are a few of our favourite wedding vow examples to get you started.

Start With Some Notes. 

Spend time reflecting on your relationship, favourite memories, and significant anniversaries before writing anything down. Consider the first time you met your future spouse or the feelings you had following your first date. Make a list of all of the things you and your fiancé enjoy doing together, such as going on romantic getaways and spending time together. Also, make a list of the things you respect about your partner and your plans. This information will help you when it comes time to write your vows.

Make Some Promises. 

Spend time reflecting on your relationship, favourite memories, and significant anniversaries before writing anything down. Consider the first time you met your future spouse or the feelings you had following your first date. Make a list of all of the things you and your fiancé enjoy doing together, such as going on romantic getaways and spending time together. Also, make a list of the things you respect about your partner and your plans. This information will help you when it comes time to write your vows.

Write Your First Draft With Time To Spare. 

You are prepared to begin putting everything together now that you have your notes and your pledges in hand. You may discover some wedding vow templates online which can help you give structure to your ideas. However, in general, you'll want to include the following: what has brought you together, what you love about your partner, your commitments, and a view to the future.

You don't want the additional stress of writing your vows at the last minute, so get started on this drought as soon as possible. At the very least, you should aim to have your vows written at least three weeks before your wedding, so you have plenty of time to practise saying them.

Remove Inside Jokes And Embarrassing Anecdotes. 

Do you wish to be amusing? Great. Loving? Without a doubt. Silly? So why not? However, you are not only reading your vows to your soon-to-be spouse but also in front of your family and friends. You want them to enjoy this moment, so stuffing your speech with references only your fiancé would understand isn't the best idea. Worse, they will be embarrassed in front of your guests (no references to exes or messy college days, please).

Watch Out For Those Clichés. Clichés Are A Bit Trickier To Detect (And Remove).

Cliches are beautiful statements, but they're sometimes overused. If you spot a lot of these phrases in your manuscript, try rephrasing them in a way that incorporates the nuances of your connection. They never forget the emotion We felt when they first saw you stroll into that restaurant downtown). What if you can't come up with a suitable replacement? Having a cliché in your vows won't make them any less meaningful.

Practice Reading Them Out Loud. 

This is critical. Aside from helping you practise your delivery and build your self-esteem, saying your vows aloud can also serve as a useful editing tool. What sounds clear in your thoughts may sound clumsy when said aloud, so you'll be able to identify areas that need improvement. Record yourself reading them for extra points. We know, but practising your vows in front of a mirror can help you improve your delivery.

Print Out A Few Copies.

If you don't have a printed copy of your vows, you won't be able to access them on the big day unless you're getting married in your backyard (and reading off your phone is not ideal). As long as it's something that complements your wedding colours and stationery, you're good to go. As long as you and your partner are on the same page, you should be fine. (Hint: make a print of your wedding vows to display in your house after the ceremony as a sentimental souvenir.)

Give Yourself Time When It’s Time. 

It's finally here! When it's your turn to talk, take a deep breath, check that your knees aren't locked, and look your partner in the eyes—they're your person, and their encouraging look will offer you comfort. If you have access to a microphone, place it near your mouth and get ready to speak! Remember that the first few words are the most difficult, so don't get discouraged if you stumble a bit. Even your beloved won't remember that.

FAQs About Wedding Vows

The first and most important thing to keep in mind when writing your wedding vows is that you should speak from the bottom of your heart. On the other hand, putting this into written form might prove difficult for certain people.

The following is a guide on the format of wedding vows to help you overcome any fears or doubts you may have. Keep in mind that this is merely a guide, and you are free to make any necessary adjustments in order to make it more suitable for your needs.

Tips For Writing Wedding Vows

There is no need for concern if you are experiencing difficulty with steps 1-10. While you are going through the processes outlined above, keep the following suggestions for drafting your wedding vows in mind:

  • Start early. Start thinking about your vows as early as possible so that you have enough time to gather inspiration, put off writing them, and revel in anticipation of saying, "I, Do!"
  • You and your fiance should go through your vows. Because of this, you'll want to keep the finished product a mystery until the big day. That being said, having a predetermined style, format, or tone for your vows can make it easier to get started. You and your fiance may incorporate parts of the conventional vows into your ceremony. Will your style be more lighthearted, or will you stick to a more serious tone? Some couples even go ahead and exchange their vows before the big day. The best part is that you and your partner choose what you want!
  • Make a shrine to your past. This collection of mementoes will remind you of all the memorable occasions you've shared with your significant other throughout the years. One moment may bring back memories of another, which may lead you to that one time and before you realise it, you'll have a slew of ideas.
  • Make a to-do list. Don't worry about creating whole sentences when you begin drafting your vows. Start writing down everything that comes to mind as soon as you can.
  • If you're unable to come up with a topic, ask yourself a few questions.
  • In what way did you come to the decision to wed?
  • When you first saw them, what did you think?
  • You're in love. When did you realise it?
  • When you first met, what did you lack in your life?
  • How have they influenced your perspective on the world??
  • When you're not together, what do you miss the most?
  • What hardships have you and your loved ones endured as a family?
  • What is it about your relationship that makes it so unique?
  • Get motivated. To get ideas for your vows, you can peruse examples like the ones presented below. There will be no shortage of ideas for your next project. As long as you don't let someone else's words overshadow your own, you can draw inspiration from your favourite poets, authors, or even love movies. Make a list of things you like about the vows and strive to incorporate those things into your own.
  • Avoid saying anything too intimate or embarrassing. Make sure everyone in attendance can hear and understand what you have to say so that this precious moment may genuinely be shared. When you re-read what you've written, you may find yourself second-guessing some of the jokes or words you used. It's also possible to ask a buddy to check your vows and ensure you haven't forgotten anything.
  • Take a moment to relax. Some of your best work comes when you return to it later. Take a break if you need one. You started early in the first place because of this reason.
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