Since it is never the most enjoyable aspect of preparation, sometimes it's necessary to reduce your wedding guest list.
It's a difficult job, but someone has to do it, and when it comes to reducing the number of guests at your wedding, that someone is you.
It is up to you and your partner to not only create the guest list for your wedding but also to cut it back when things get out of hand because no one else exactly understands the relationships you have with your friends, family, coworkers, and neighbours quite like you and your partner.
It's a frequent problem that hundreds of couples eventually encounter and one that calls for a sympathetic response.
The number of visitors will probably be regulated at 15 or 30 when the tier system is reinstated. Since couples are likely to have smaller gatherings in the future, it's crucial to know how to decline invitations or reduce your guest list without upsetting anyone.
Making your guest list is likely on the lengthy list of things that could cause you extreme worry as you organise your big day.
You are making a list of the most significant figures in your life, the life of your partner, your parents, and the lives of your in-laws.
That is a huge number of individuals. But when friends and family assume an invitation, things can get complicated. Looking for the top Melbourne wedding photographer? Here is our comprehensive list.
Having a plan in place is the greatest approach to keeping things simple. We thus consulted the best wedding planners for their best-kept secrets for reducing your guest list to the ideal number.
How To Cut Your Wedding Guest List Down
Know The Cost Per Head.
No of your spending limit, you'll need to know the cost per person and the capacity of your location in order to decide on the optimal number of guests to invite.
With this amount in your possession, you are prepared to decide how many guests you can afford to invite.
For instance, if you had 175 people on your list but discovered after doing the maths that you could only afford 100 guests, you would have just eliminated 75 people from the list. So, who exactly are the 100 guests?
Only Invite People Who Will Be Part Of Your Future.
While the day of your wedding is significant in terms of your past, its main purpose is to celebrate your future.
Because of this, it's crucial to confirm that most, if not all, of the guests you invite, will participate in your future life together.
For instance, don't feel obligated to invite your high school friend if you haven't spoken to them in over a year out of respect for your relationship. After the wedding, you most likely won't speak to them again for a year.
Ask Your Parents Not To Go Overboard When Inviting Friends.
Your parents will probably start adding everyone they know, even new acquaintances, to your list, especially if they're paying.
Even though they are paying, it is still your wedding. Here, asking students to be practical is crucial. Please focus on the people you wouldn't want to get married to without them present instead of how crucial it is to you to keep things as private as possible.
Write Down All Of The People You Would Love To Invite On Index Cards.
Create three boxes at first: one for immediate relatives, also known as the individuals you must invite, one for close friends, and one for everyone you wish to invite.
How many people make it to that third box will surprise you. You'll be able to count out exactly how many people to invite from box three after doing this.
Cut Out Plus-Ones.
Naturally, you want your visitors to be pleased, which occasionally means letting them bring a date.
But in the end, it's up to you to choose who attends your wedding, so you have every right to stand your ground if it means rejecting cousin Fran's new partner of two months.
If money is scarce, think about limiting "plus-ones" to visitors in long-term relationships that you are confident will endure.
Establishing a "cut-off time" for how long they have been dating at the time you send out invitations is another good rule of thumb. But, again, no one's feelings are damaged in this manner.
Say No To Children.
Eliminating minors from the guest list can help you reduce your numbers, even if it can be a touchy matter. In any case, the parents deserve a night out together!
Stop and consider how you'll feel if one of your cousin's tiny kids starts sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of your vows, even though the thought of having them all dressed up for your big day may sound adorable and lovely for pictures.
Not quite cute, are we? Children can truly pile up and increase your guest list by 20 or 30 individuals from what you had originally anticipated. It is far simpler to say no to everyone than to just some people.
Start Early
This is a task that should be completed as soon as possible because your final edit impacts so many other elements, such as seating arrangements and overall expenditures.
To prevent tension later, be honest about the number of guests you can expect. If you pick a number higher than your location's capacity, you will have to hold your breath whenever an RSVP comes in.
When others congratulate you on your engagement, you can even note that you plan to have a modest, private ceremony.
They will be less likely to take it personally when invitations start to be sent out, and they don't get a nice envelope in the mail.
Pick Plus Ones Wisely
There's already a list, and it's way too long. Also, avoid inviting parents' friends or their children as plus ones.
It's acceptable and reasonable to prefer close relatives and friends when space is at a premium.
It's possible to limit the number of plus ones you give out or at least be picky about who gets them.
Long-term couples are more likely to be hurt if only one spouse receives an invitation. Still, those in newer or more casual relationships are likely to be more understanding, especially if you don't have a long history with their new partner.
Although it may cause friction, one option is to take the "no ring, no bring" stance.
Get Firm With Family
Don't invite distant relatives you haven't spoken to in years, Cherelle warns.
And she's correct; the wedding day should be about the two of you, not a chance to reunite with distant relatives you haven't spoken to in years.
To avoid making anyone feel out of place, it's a good idea to establish ground rules that apply to both sets of family members. Of course, no two families are alike, so some degree of flexibility is always needed; nonetheless, if you want to take the fairest route possible, this is a considerate method to break the news to everyone involved.
Have A Child-Free Wedding
Another important piece of counsel we offer to couples who are feeling stretched? Clearly state that only adults are invited to your wedding.
We know that for some people, including children in the wedding will be a must, especially if you have children of your own. But if not, a party for adults only might be the more manageable option you've been looking for.
She argues that in order to minimise the offence created if you have one or two children present, it is best to adhere to this approach universally, much like with family restrictions.
It may be not easy to bring up children, but even if they provide a special charm to the day, leaving them out of the headcount allows you to minimise costs and gives the kids' parents a night off to have fun.
Don’t Return The Invite.
It's all too typical to assume that everything must be comparable, but we emphasise that this is not the case.
Do yourself a favour and remove anyone from your guest list that you are only inviting because they invited you to their wedding many years ago.
You can still cherish your memories of their special day. Still, if your friendship has dissolved and you haven't spoken to them in a while, they probably won't be anticipating an invitation.
Imagine how you would feel right now if the scenario were reversed. Given where you are right now, it's unlikely that you would be startled if you didn't cut, and it's also likely that they wouldn't be. Brighton Savoy has put together a list of the Best Photo Booth Hires in Melbourne to assist you in deciding who will document your unforgettable day.
On this occasion, guilt is not necessary.
Cut Out Your Colleagues
It's challenging enough to handle office politics without adding a wedding.
However, it's acceptable to gently disappoint them if coworkers you don't socialise with outside of work start thinking they will be invited.
The simplest solution is to make this a general rule, but as always, there will be exceptions. For example, you might have a smaller, more intimate group of coworkers you can't imagine missing out on with you on the dance floor.
The trick, once more, is consistency; if you ask everyone on a small team, save for one or two, it may come off as a little condescending. And no, you don't need to ask your boss unless you're close friends outside the boardroom.
Ask For Help At Your Own Risk
You might feel compelled to disclose your guest list to your parents and friends but refrain from doing so since they might return with a list of people they believe you should invite instead, worsening the problem.
When it comes to weddings, parents frequently feel they have a voice, especially if they cover a large portion of the costs. Of course, if there is room, you can try to accommodate this, but in the end, it's your wedding, so you get to give the people you care about the greatest priority.
Keep this in mind for each guest you invite to your wedding. You must pay for their attendance, so pick your guests carefully and only invite those who have special meaning to you.
Be Honest
Occasionally, despite your best efforts, you can find yourself in the awkward position of having to decline some invitations.
It is best, to be honest. Let them know that although they were a big part of your initial invitation and the reason you had to cut back on guests, it was due to unavoidable circumstances.
If possible, plan a large-scale online party following the wedding or an in-person event once things have calmed down.
Once you have your wedding images, you can send a wedding announcement with your favourite image from the day to make unwanted guests feel recognised and included.
Consider Having An A-List And A B-List
If you ask your first-choice guests early—around ten weeks before the wedding—and give them three to four weeks to respond, you can extend invitations to some people on your B-list if some of your first-choice guests are unable to attend.
Just be careful to provide the B-list guest's invitations with a delayed RSVP deadline and to avoid inviting them too soon before the wedding.
A B-list is debatable; some experts advise in favour of it, while others advise against it. Even some folks keep C and D lists.
Use Set Criteria to Include and Exclude People from the Wedding Guest List
Having guidelines for who to invite and reject prevents drama and simplifies decision-making.
One or both of the couples getting married should not invite someone they would only do so out of obligation, anyone they haven't spoken to in the past year who isn't a relative, or anyone they haven't even heard of.
You Need Not Invite All Friends
Regardless of how close you were in the past, if you haven't spoken to or gotten together with someone in years and don't anticipate you will within the next year, leave them off or place them on the B-list.
You Need Not Invite All Relatives
Similarly, not all relatives should be invited. Parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and first cousins are typically the relatives who deserve an invitation.
Nobody else is required to receive an invitation. However, asking everyone if you're inviting a one-second cousin to prevent problems is a good idea.
The pair could choose to extend an invitation to more family members if one of them is closer to their extended family.
Deciding Whether to Invite Co-Workers
Invite everyone in your organisation, department, or just a select few if there is space on the guest list.
However, anyone you interact with socially outside of work may be an exception to the norm. This is due to the fact that they are friends, not just colleagues.
Invite your boss to a big wedding, especially if you work at a tiny business. Only invite guests you'd see if the same company didn't still employ you to smaller weddings.
Make A Set Rule About Plus-Ones And Children
Create a standard policy for "plus-ones" to ensure everyone's comfort and the event's integrity. Every single person, the couple in a committed relationship, or no one.
The wedding party is usually the exception, although there are times when the attendants are the only ones there. Equally true for young people.
Typical responses to "children" include "none," "no children," "no children except close family," "only children," and "all children." Make sure everyone knows who to bring along by specifying that on the invitation.
Think About Added Value As A Guest
If you're unsure whether to invite someone, consider the benefits their presence might provide.
For instance, some individuals excel in persuading others to dance or engage in conversation with anyone.
They might carry a table and start a conversation with strangers. If you can, invite them since they might make other guests enjoy the celebrations.
Consider Including Names On Rsvp Cards
Even if you didn't want to invite a certain person, they might respond to your invitation anyhow.
To assist prevent this, it is recommended that names be included on the RSVP cards or that guests be limited to selecting a specific number of attendees. One possible implementation is a list of choices that includes a tick for "one" or "two" guests.
Deciding To Invite More Guests Expecting Some To Rsvp No
When planning an event, some hosts intentionally invite a small number of extra guests in the hopes that a certain percentage of those invited will decline.
If a larger percentage of people agree than was anticipated, complications may arise. B-lists are a proposed solution by some.
About three-quarters of guests show up, including eighty-five to ninety per cent of in-town residents, sixty-five to seventy-five per cent of out-of-towners, eighty-five per cent of relatives, and fifty per cent of pals.
Nearly 90% of guests will attend weddings with fewer than 50 people.
Never Delete Names From The Original Wedding Guest List
Don't eliminate anyone when trimming the guest list for your ideal wedding. Use a prioritisation mechanism instead.
If enough guests decline, you might be able to extend an invitation to other people. However, keeping the original comprehensive list around makes any prospective future additions accessible.
Think about classifying people into must-invite, should-invite, and possible-invite categories.
FAQs About Wedding
We know that putting together the guest list for your wedding ought to be a simple task. However, there are occasions when there are too many people to invite and not enough space to accommodate everyone.
So let's not make the task more difficult than it needs to be, should we? Put the finishing touches on your wedding guest list with the help of this planning guide for wedding guest lists, all while remaining within the bounds of your budgetary safety zone.
Deciding Who Won’t Be On The Guest List
Few wedding guest lists fall below the agreed-upon number set by the bride and groom. So, after you and your soon-to-be spouse have compiled your respective families' and guest lists, you should be prepared to crisscross. Here are some suggestions for narrowing your options:
If there is someone on the list you don't recognise, it's polite to ask your parents or prospective in-laws if they can be crossed off.
Consider the people you work with and know in the business world.
Your coworkers should respect your wishes to limit attendance to immediate family and close friends if you are forced to make cuts.
Take a look at the palms of both you and your future spouse.
How frequently do you interact with each of them? If you have any doubts, lop them off.
Don't automatically add someone to your list because you went to their wedding ten years ago.
Those who have planned a wedding are likely to empathise with the need to reduce expenses.
Consider long-lost cousins you haven't spoken to in ages.
Inquire with your mum and dad before removing them from consideration. So that they don't have to buy a gift or take a trip could be very much appreciated.
Avoiding Arguments
You'll have a successful marriage if you can learn the art of giving and taking throughout the planning of your wedding.
Remind yourself to be kind and respectful of yourself and anyone you're conversing with in order to avoid or at least minimise disputes – raising your voice to make a point rarely succeeds.
Ensure that you and the host agree to the requirements for the guest list. Dealing with your parents and their lists will be much simpler after you and your partner have reached an agreement.
Being Gracious To The Uninvited
Before invitations, make a personal call or visit anyone you think might feel left out. No one likes having to confront an issue head-on, but it's better to do so than to avoid it.
If they were sincerely offended, it was probably best not to invite them. Instead, stop being defensive and say what you need to make amends and keep the friendship alive.
Potential Ways To Include More Guests
If a lack of funds leaves out some visitors, think about reducing spending in other areas to accommodate more. To assist you in planning your special day, Brighton Savoy has put together an exclusive list of wedding photo locations in Melbourne.
Cut out some items people don't care about, including printed materials at the wedding and wedding favours, and choose less expensive meal alternatives, decorations, and flowers.
Conclusion
It's a difficult job, but someone has to do it, and when it comes to reducing the number of guests at your wedding, that someone is you. It is up to you and your partner to not only create the guest list for your wedding but also to cut it back when things get out of hand because no one else exactly understands the relationships you have with your friends, family, coworkers, and neighbours quite like you and your partner.
You are making a list of the most significant figures in your life, the life of your partner, your parents, and the lives of your in-laws. No of your spending limit, you will need to know the cost per person and the capacity of your location in order to decide on the optimal number of guests to invite.
And she's correct; the wedding day should be about the two of you, not a chance to reunite with distant relatives you have not spoken to in years.
Content Summary
- It's a difficult job, but someone has to do it, and when it comes to reducing the number of guests at your wedding, that someone is you.
- It is up to you and your partner to not only create the guest list for your wedding but also to cut it back when things get out of hand because no one else exactly understands the relationships you have with your friends, family, coworkers, and neighbours quite like you and your partner.
- Having a plan in place is the greatest approach to keeping things simple.
- We thus consulted the best wedding planners for their best-kept secrets for reducing your guest list to the ideal number.
- No of your spending limit, you'll need to know the cost per person and the capacity of your location in order to decide on the optimal number of guests to invite.
- While the day of your wedding is significant in terms of your past, its main purpose is to celebrate your future.
- Because of this, it's crucial to confirm that most, if not all, of the guests you invite, will participate in your future life together.
- Ask Your Parents Not To Go Overboard When Inviting Friends.
- Say No To Children. Eliminating minors from the guest list can help you reduce your numbers, even if it can be a touchy matter.
- Children can truly pile up and increase your guest list by 20 or 30 individuals from what you had originally anticipated.
- It is far simpler to say no to everyone than to just some people.
- To prevent tension later, be honest about the number of guests you can expect.
- When others congratulate you on your engagement, you can note that you plan to have a modest, private ceremony.
- Also, avoid inviting parents' friends or their children as plus ones.
- It's acceptable and reasonable to prefer close relatives and friends when space is at a premium.
- It's possible to limit the number of plus ones you give out or at least be picky about who gets them.
- Get Firm With Family Don't invite distant relatives you haven't spoken to in years, Cherelle warns.
- And she's correct; the wedding day should be about the two of you, not a chance to reunite with distant relatives you haven't spoken to in years.
- To avoid making anyone feel out of place, it's a good idea to establish ground rules that apply to both sets of family members.
- We know that for some people, including children in the wedding will be a must, especially if you have children of your own.
- But if not, a party for adults only might be the more manageable option you've been looking for.
- Do yourself a favour and remove anyone from your guest list that you are only inviting because they invited you to their wedding many years ago.
- Brighton Savoy has put together a list of the Best Photo Booth Hires in Melbourne to assist you in deciding who will document your unforgettable day.
- Cut Out Your ColleaguesIt's challenging enough to handle office politics without adding a wedding.
- The trick, once more, is consistency; if you ask everyone on a small team, save for one or two, it may come off as a little condescending. And no, you don't need to ask your boss unless you're close friends outside the boardroom.
- Ask For Help At Your Own Risk You might feel compelled to disclose your guest list to your parents and friends but refrain from doing so since they might return with a list of people they believe you should invite instead, worsening the problem.
- Keep this in mind for each guest you invite to your wedding.
- Be Honest Occasionally, despite your best efforts, you can find yourself in the awkward position of having to decline some invitations.
- Consider Having An A-List And A B-ListIf you ask your first-choice guests early—around ten weeks before the wedding—give them three to four weeks to respond, and you can extend invitations to some people on your B-list if some of your first-choice guests are unable to attend.
- Just be careful to provide the B-list guest's invitations with a delayed RSVP deadline and to avoid inviting them too soon before the wedding.
- Use Set Criteria to Include and Exclude People from the Wedding Guest ListHaving guidelines for who to invite and reject prevents drama and simplifies decision-making.
- One or both of the couples getting married should not invite someone they would only do so out of obligation, anyone they haven't spoken to in the past year who isn't a relative, or anyone they haven't even heard of.
- You Need Not Invite All FriendsRegardless of how close you were in the past if you haven't spoken to or gotten together with someone in years and don't anticipate you will within the next year, leave them off or place them on the B-list.
- Deciding Whether to Invite Co-WorkersInvite everyone in your organisation, department, or just a select few if there is space on the guest list.
- Invite your boss to a big wedding, especially if you work at a tiny business.